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7/18/03---8:04 PM
I am now 132 pounds. I have gained 32 pounds since I had the surgery. My weight has hovered around 105 for the last twenty years. When I put my hands on my thighs I feel like it is unrecognizable. My Japanese friend, eterally on a slim fast diet told me I should not gain anymore weight. Even though he said I looked healthier, he was slightly horrified to walk behind me on the stairs. I have no perception of my body. I know when I look in the mirror and see a huge jelly ass that the mirror is lying to me and I look normal. I have to ask people around me to describe how I look. What I see in the mirror is distorted. I just have to keep telling myself it is ok. You have no idea what a struggle that is.
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