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9/7/03---7:36 AM
I was apprehensive about coming to Denver. Ghosts of the beginning of marriage with R., bad times, I hated this place then. Yesterday we went for a hike at the foot of the mountains. I forgot how spectacular the Rocky Mountains are. Must remember how good it is for me to get out into trees and quiet. It is a strange trip. People and places seem familiar. I remember the bleak neighborhood we had our first apartment. $200 a month and three rooms of no furniture. Where did we sit down to eat dinner? One room had only the computer, my first computer at 27 years old. I was scared to go see the old house. I made myself go last night. I was surprised I felt nothing. Ten years is a long time to forget the past. Denver doesn't seem like the dusty lost town I remember. It is beautiful in a brick and tree sort of way. The memories aren't overwhelming, just memories. I ask my friend, what was I like then? He says angry all the time. I don't remember why. Now that everything in my life seems easier, I see everything in a flattering light. I feel for the 27 year old I was then, how I struggled. I have some sympathy for my mistakes.
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